Sober For Now: The Memoirs of Jake Ryan
by Vimmi99
Summary: Why do people keep journals? Is it to anguish over failures? To smile at success? Perhaps we keep them to look back into our younger self's thoughts? My reason, is simply to set the record straight, to dispell any rumors and figure out where I went wrong.


_So this would be my memoirs, a veiw into the awesome life that I've had. You may be wondering why I'm writing this, I mean I'm like what 24? The truth is there are two main reasons that I'm doing this._

People keep journals so they can look back into the thoughts of their younger selves, they want to remember every moment of their lives no matter how insignificant. Not me, I don't have to after all, I'm Jake Ryan for Pete's sake! I've got websites dedicated to tracking my every move, I'm photographed constantly and I'm always seen and recorded wherever I go. So why should I keep this journal? Easy **, 1** memoirs of stars always make mega bucks, me being a mega star would obviously make even more cash than a "B-lister" or heaven forbid a "D-lister's" overdramatic telling of their lives (with a hell of a lot of fabrication so that they sound remotely interesting.). **2 **(and probably the more important one) I want things told right, no arguing over my intentions and no hearsay on my beliefs. I'm a bastard to some and sincere to others, I'll hate you for the littlest slight to my friends and I'll forever be loyal if you too show loyalty. In short I'm a complicated kind of guy and I plan on remaining so until I'm well into my 80's. So I'm gonna list a few facts about me right off the back, ones that crazed stalkers super fans might know and some they might not. These facts are the key ones that shaped my life so far.

1) I was forced into acting but I sure as hell didn't hate it. I didn't have a normal childhood. Boo-fricken-hoo, tons of people don't, I had an exciting one something kids lie in bed dreaming about (or so I'm told).

2) I'm borderline dyslexic, but I love to read, its one of the complicated things that makes me unique. Whether the reading entails a pop-up book, a movie script or a trashy magazine I'll struggle through it and I'll be giddy proud as can be afterwards. I love how things just come to life when you read.

c) I wasn't an only child (as it's reported) until age 9. My parents had a miscarriage before me, and a stillborn after me. My younger sister would have been named Jennifer Margaret Ryan, I was six when I first noticed that my mom was getting big, they told me then about the miscarriage and about how they wanted to give me a sibling. Jennifer would have been the first Ryan to be born in another country since the 1800's (we were living in Moncton, New Brunswick, Canada at the time because I was shooting a pilot for a new sitcom). She was born April 23 1998 at 7:53 pm and it wasn't until 8:15 that the doctors and my aunt told me that she didn't make it. I'll never forget that day as long as I live.

4) Three and a half years later my younger brother Tyler Anthony Ryan was born. We're pretty close, well as close as two people separated by nearly a decade can be. He wanted to be a space cowboy for the longest time and I've always thought that was hilarious and pretty cool all at the same time. Lately he's saying he's going to be a musician, a real one not like those namby-pamby Jonas dudes (his words not mine). I think he picked up the bug from my then girlfriend Miley who used to play guitar for him when she came over and I had to put him to bed. He's a big dreamer and its sort of inspiring.

5) I'm anal-retentive about the state of my bathroom. I think I should mention it's my favourite room of my house and of my parents. Everything has to be laid out perfectly or I can't function in the mornings. I freaked out for quite some time following the first time a girl stayed over for the night.

6) I didn't lose my virginity until last year. Many people are probably scoffing at this one, based on who I am and the rumours that have been floating around since I was 15. I didn't lose it to just anyone though. I made love for the first time with someone I thought I was going to marry, albeit in the distant future. She knows who she is and based on the time line of my girlfriends so do a many of people now.

7) I was checked into rehab during the summer of 2008. I'm not going to say it was a spa, or that I was on vacation. I had a problem, and through no means of my own would I have been able to solve it. I became an alcoholic at age 17, a full 4 years before legal drinking age. What can I say though, life moves fast in Hollywood, and I was on the fast track to death....Okay maybe I'm being overdramatic, not death but probably liver failure which could result in death. I was up to 6 or 7 beers on a bad day and 4-5 on a good one. This being said, I have never used drugs. I've never seen the appeal to shooting up in a bathroom stall with a tourniquet tied by my teeth on my arm. I can't imagine ruining my complexion, or my insides for that matter in using cocaine, meth or stuff like that. And Ectasy although probably fun at parties has a high mortality rate which needless to say turns me off.

8) My favourite character that I've played is a tie. Being the zombie slayer was pretty cool, it was definitely my first real role that got me attention, however it grow old fast. By the fourth season it was really routine and the character wasn't really developing into anything other than what he started off as. I mean I love him because of how he kicked open the door to acting for me, but at the same time I kind of hate him for it. I got type casted. One of the worst things that can happen to someone in my business is to be type-casted, it limits your options and at the ending of Zombie high, I was expected to play headstrong action heroes. Don't get me wrong they are pretty cool guys to play its just sometimes I want to flex my acting muscles and show some depth, maybe do a romantic comedy or an independent film in which I play a small but critical role as a friend or brother to the main character. My other favourite isn't something most people would brag about, in fact most actors would hang their heads in shame to ever hear mention to their first role. I played the baby of the family on the short lived show "curtains", yep I played that annoying, snot-nosed little brat whose catch phrase was "I'm Telling Mommy!!". Not my best work, but I did everything I could with what I was given. Alan (the aforementioned snot nosed kid) is my favourite because of what happened off set, I got in pretty close with the man who played my dad ( - ) he was a really cool guy (RIP). He taught me how to pick scripts and to play games like blackjack and poker. He was the cool uncle I didn't have. He also introduced me to my manager of 12 years Roy Fitzpatrick.

9) Hannah Montana and I are still on good terms and have been since the Tween choice awards when we presented together all the way back in the day. Admittedly there were rough spots but she's still one of my best friends. The recent rumours claiming that she and I hate each other are false, well for the most part; she does have house envy but thats to be expected I mean look at me, look at my house, somethings gotta give. Truthfully though, I know Hannah's there for me, she helped stage the intervention that got me into the rehab center, she talked me out of doing crazy stunts, and she was there through the ups and downs of my career. She introduced me to a lot of people who I hold dear to my heart, don't get me wrong I'm not a really sentimental guy, its just these people, well they saved me they care about me and I love them. Hannah is a true friend (pun intended), and I'm lucky to have her.

And Finally;

Believe it or not I'm getting married. Didn't see that one coming did you?

* * *

_**AN:**_ Well there you go, the first chapter of what I hope to be a long story. I think this is sort of like a preface, a sort of prologue before I get into the meat of what I'm planning.

Hopefully it didnt bore you to much. Thanks for reading, any critism (constructive or not) would help improve my wrriting so if you can please leave a review.

-Vicki


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